she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
