I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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