So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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