Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
