can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Pooping to opera.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
