What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
