why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
