how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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