Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
