But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
