He asked to "fluff my boner.."
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
