Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just gift wrapped bread.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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