i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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