This dress was meant to end up on your floor
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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