There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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