He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
