At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
