he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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