he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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