theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Boobs are out for the taking
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
