I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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