I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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