Need sex. Gaining weight.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
