I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
