i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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