I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
