Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
