The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
