do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
