Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Boobs speak an international language.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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