3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
