Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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