You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
