I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
