i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
