I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
