So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
