I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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