It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
