check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
