I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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