I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
