O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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