He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
