If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
