how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Randomize
