this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
