For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
