finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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