Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
