R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
