Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
