Can i not drive my cunt home
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
