GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
