i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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