i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
How drunk are you?
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